Monday, December 8, 2008

Deli Newsdesk: Joe Satriani's Eviscerated <3

The phones are ringing off the hooks here in the newly created Deli Music News Department as details of the big Joe Satriani vs. Coldplay lawsuit keep flowing in. All of this comes within 24 hours of some more big music business news, the hottly anticipated Death of Autoplay.

In a Deli exclusive interview, the Satchman broke down into tears while discussing the case. "The second I heard, I knew...I felt like a dagger went right through my heart. It hurt so much," the virtuoso whimpered pathetically. The man with that slippery legato soul received literally dozens of e-mails from concerned fans and associates; no doubt many of you reading this right now reached out to him in concern.

The pain of hearing this melody sung by an actual human voice rather than a blazing electric guitar was compounded by the fact that the Silver Surfer of the Six String spent ten fucking years writing the thing;

"I started writing it on the Flying In A Blue Dream tour back in 1990. But because of the way I write, sometimes songs take a while, as this one did. In 2003 I started demoing it in earnest. I played it on the acoustic guitar on a demo so I could sing the melody, then I demoed it on electric to get the sound. And the performance turned out to be so spontaneous, so right and so emotional, that it wound up being a keeper."

The <3's of all of us here at the Deli go out to you, kind sir.

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