Monday, December 15, 2008

Great. Now how about not-shitty subway ads?

Any sane new yorker surely recognizes the absolute absurdity of the recent wave of Bank of America advertisements toting their Transit Check program. The ads promise 10 dollars back to any commuter for every 100 dollars they spend on transit. The ad, however, depicts skeptical new yorkers who suspect that these ten dollars will do little to alleviate the dozens of other horrible afflictions they carry on their backs. Just by living in New York you're subject to many hardships that most people on this planet don't have to deal with: tap-dancing neighbors, potholes, unwilling cab drivers and slow, gridlock traffic. We have got it real tough in the Big Apple.



This week, I invite you to read over some of the ads we here at the Deli have come up with ourselves. Feel free to leave your own ideas on the comment board. Don't feel constricted by our groupings! Write any type of ad you want!

-The Deli


Racist Ads

Great. So what can you do about the black problem?
Great. So what can you do about my Jewish Slumlord?
Great. So what can you do about my noisy Mexican neighbors?
Great. Now what can you do about the Koreans who can't understand the difference between a small coffee and a copy of the New York Post?
Great. So what can you do about these awful immigrants?

Segregation Ads

Great. Now what can you do about post-facto segregation?
Great. Now can you erase the hundreds of years of slavery that have instilled in me a profound and unshakable sense of White Guilt?

Great. So what can you do about the homosexual couple living in my building?

Shame Ads

Great. Now what can you do about my intense, unmovable anxiety?
Great. Now what can you do about my repressed memories of molestation?
Great. Now what can you do about my husbands alcoholism and abusive parenting?
Great. I'm illiterate.

Odysseus Ads
Great. Now what can you do about Poseidon?
Great. Now how am I supposed to get away from this interminable Cyclops?
Great. Now how can I get myself to give in to those god-damned Sirens?
Great. Now what about all those damned suitors?
Great. Now what can you do about Helios' herd?


Stand-Up Comedy Ads

Great. Now can you do something about lines at the DMV?
Great. How about the stark differences between men and women?
Great. Maybe you can bring up some dissimilarities between Los Angeles and New York.
Horse Ads

Great. Now what can you do about the horse infestation in my brownstone?






4 comments:

Bill said...

Ten dollars back on my transit?

Great. Now how about doing something about all these Jihadists?

Dustin said...

me: Great. Now if only other people read your blog.
Jonathan: exxxactly
me: so good though
Jonathan: PUT THAT UP AS A COMMENT

Dustin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Michael Pepi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.