Tonight, I left work a normal man. I humbly waited for the the V train to come take me home. After one F train that I missed, it came. I boarded the vessel as myself. It was a long day, so after finding a seat, I nodded off, enjoying the comforts of an outer borough bound train.
Things were going okay, for a while, I had one of those three seaters, sharing it with some rando with a sick jacket. We're rolling up to Queens Plaza and I'm just enjoying my seat when I hear "excuse me", as some frizzled ass Mexican dude squeezes between me and Johnny rando to my right. Johnny immediatelty, I mean like without thinking about it gets up, and leaves me with this dude. I was freaked out for two seconds until I realized that this guy was on some other shit.
He takes out some European style soda can, but homie was not quenching his thirst. He poured out something that resembled loose tobacco, but with some interesting looking gold flakes in it. He daintilly pulled out all of the gold flakes which was amazing and was more amazing when I looked around and saw everyone on our half of the train car was looking at homeboy, wondering what was up his sleeve.
Eventually he got all of the gold flakes out of his quote unquote tobacco that he didn't want before reaching back into his satchel to retrieve a pouch which he unfolded even more daintily then he picked the "gold" flakes out of the "tobacco." Once he finally opened the pouch it revealed beautiful, large green leafs.
As if he could read the surprise/confusion of his fellow riders of the V train, he put the leaf in his mouth to hold it, and reached back into his satchel, this time to pull out a green tupperware, with no writing on it. He carefully scooped the tupperware until a small white solid liquid reluctantly came out.
He spread the white lotion on the leaf, with so much care. Keep in mind he was still sitting right next to me, despite the fact that many people were staring at him and the guy sitting next to him had long ago gotten up.
After sufficiently spreading the mystery cream, he carefully poured the tobacco looking powder onto the lotion covered leaf. Once it was thoroughly deposited on the lotion covered leaf he folded it once, then folded it again, then folded it again, then put it in his mouth and chewed. Hard.
It was at this point the V train reached 65th street. I went home and hung out with Will and then we went out with Jamie and Jason before going to every bar between 54th and 62nd Street. I told them what happened. Jamie encouraged me to get a hot tequila at the taco stand and we played some forty year old guys in pool.